That is so gay

Is a comment like this to be avoided?  How about ‘that is so ghetto’ or ‘that is retarded’ or any other slang like that?

Some people choose to dislike comments that could, in any way, possibly hurt someone else’s feelings.  Should you choose to never say “that is so gay” because somewhere, someone within hearing range could be gay or know someone that is gay?  Should you never refer to anything as ‘retarded’ because a person hearing you could know a person that is mentally retarded and could therefore take offense to it?  Are we as a society so incredibly mentally fragile that an offhand comment could ruin our day?

It’s slang, not hate speech.  It’s a comment, an expression of our feelings.  It is no different than cussing as it is essentially an adjective or an adverb.  It simply helps describe a noun or a verb.  A word that helps describe an action, or a person, place, or thing.  Someone I know recently told me how much they hated hearing someone say the word ‘gay’ when referring to something that was not of interest to them.  Then later, they heard someone refer to themselves as ‘redneck’ because of the way they acted or lived.

According to my friend, this first person (a male) was calling a poem ‘gay’ because it was equating a feeling that was not very masculine.  It would mean that this guy could not bear to think of this poem without admitting to having feelings, which is not very manly.  It also meant that he equated a poem regarding feelings as being likened to a guy who wanted to marry another guy, or a girl that wanted to marry another girl.  Apparently, calling something ‘gay’ is now belittling the entire homosexual rights movement as being no more important than a mushy, emotional, heart-felt poem.

According to my friend, another person said that because they had a jacked-up pickup truck with big tires and a loud exhaust, their truck was ‘redneck’.  In my friend’s mind, this person was happily degrading his own life to that of the stereotypical redneck.  A racist Southern good-ol-boy with a pinch of Copenhagen in their lip.  This ‘redneck’ truck must be getting ready to go drive out in the swamp to go alligator hunting and check on their moonshine still or something.

People, please, please stop reading so far into things.  We as a society should not have to watch every single word we say in the fear that somewhere, someone may take offence to it.  We should not have to live our lives in a way that forces us to never do anything that any other person may not agree to.  We have many freedoms, and one of those is the freedom of speech.  This freedom includes the responsibility to stand accountable for what we say, but that does not mean we should never speak our feelings.

Let’s take this a step further.  Let’s say this person who made the comment ‘gay’ really was subconsciously meaning it 17 layers deep.  Let’s just say that an emotional poem was so mentally bothersome that he could not allow a single thought in his head that he could think of as feminine.  Maybe the idea of him having an emotional thought is just as unacceptable as him having “sex” with another male.  Is he saying that only a woman should have sex with a guy, and only a woman would have an emotional thought?  In his mind then, would calling this poem ‘gay’ be actually the right thing for him to say?

Personally, I will not censor my thoughts, actions, and speech to such an extreme.  I will censor what I say and do just because it may upset someone somewhere.  If what I say or do offends you, then maybe you should stay away from me so you aren’t so horribly offended.  Or maybe you just need thicker skin so little things don’t bother you so much.  Before you start yelling at me for my way of thinking, consider this.  If my comment here struck such a nerve in you that you feel compelled to respond, then look again at what you are thinking, saying, or typing.  What you are about to say may offend me or hurt my feelings.  Does that mean you’re not allowed to say it?  Watch out for the double standard folks.  I have just as much right to speak my mind as you do to speak yours.

 

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